Comments on One Ghana, One Voice: Virgin Liberty - Nana Agyemang Ofosu

Darko Antwi, Cheers

2009-06-20T11:23:06.891Z

Darko Antwi,

Cheers

Thanks L.S. Sorry, I had no idea you are a lady. ...

2009-06-20T10:04:46.398Z

Thanks L.S.
Sorry, I had no idea you are a lady. You are a true lady!

Darko Antwi, Thanks for the thumbs up. I'm in...

2009-06-19T17:56:41.869Z

Darko Antwi,

Thanks for the thumbs up. I'm in some kind of hibernating mode, though I've been lurking like a wall gecko.

And don't let the initials fool you, I'm a she, at least last time I checked.

My point about the criticism was more to do with the fact that writers are very protective of their work, and do sometimes tend to take any criticism of their work rather more personally. It's on the other end as well. Last week someone probably Rob, raised a point about whether the speaking voice is the poet's.

Frankly, I think this poem may need some redrafting and rewriting.

Nana,I don't mean to disrespect your work, but you may want to probably start in the middle and then work your way backwards. The moment I started reading it I knew where it was going and it did, perhaps except for the final stanza which I thought was going somewhere interesting. Sometimes you have to follow that unexpected thought or line that seems to arrive from no where.

Think also about cutting the cliches because really the cliche is someone else's language, not yours.

SHAKESPEAREAN INDEED. At the time of typing my fi...

2009-06-19T10:02:42.928Z

SHAKESPEAREAN INDEED.

At the time of typing my first comment, I felt that Nana's poem is loaded with a kind of metaphoric maze, unprecedented in the history of OGOV poetry. Not only did it transcend my understanding from the start, I also quizzed myself: 'this is unexpected of a beginner.'

Again, I felt that I needed further studies - in other to explore all the characteristics entailed in 'Virgin Liberty'. I also thought; how better it would be criticised when other commentators have added their views. And behold, Adjei has put it into perspective.

LET THERE BE POETS. AND THERE WERE POETS. LET THERE BE CRITICS...

I have the feeling that; just as some poets have been organising Open Mic sessions, it would also serve well if they form critic societies among themselves. By so doing, a talent like Nana can effectively be examined and idendified - lest we consider him as a minor poet. We wouldnt want to see him sinking into oblivion.

Unfortunately, it happened to many 17th century British poets whose works were not recognised in their lifetime, until decades later when another generation of readers took interest in them.

By the way, L.S has expressed his fears about [being a] critic(s). I read his concerns in this crucial statement: 'critics are not very popular.'

I believe it to be an important statement. But where I assume popularity means 'fame', then I will encourage would-be critics to sacrifice fame for the benefit of Ghanaian Literature. However, I agree with him that critics should exercise their duties with a good and learned spirit.

I have missed you L.S. I dedicate this comment to the nice memory I have of you.

The issue of a woman character has become a subjec...

2009-06-17T20:03:39.262Z

The issue of a woman character has become a subject of debate from time immemorial.Some say they are sweet,others say they are bitter but Kayne West says they are "bittersweet".They are a kind whose character is very complex to be understood fully and hence the poet's sorrowful story.

Nana the little advice i will drop here is:"LOVE EVERYTHING THAT GOD HAS CREATED BUT CAUTIOUS WITH THE EVES".This quote from my poem "Daughter of Eve" which i wrote after my first blow.

Darko said thou art creative but i will say THOU ART SHAKESPEAREAN for your style make such kingpins happy in their graves.Kudos bro!

The issue of a woman character has become a subjec...

2009-06-17T20:02:21.550Z

The issue of a woman character has become a subject of debate from time immemorial.Some say they are sweet,others say they are bitter but Kayne West says they are "bittersweet".They are a kind whose character is very complex to be understood fully and hence the poet's sorrowful story.

Nana the little advice i will drop here is:"LOVE EVERYTHING THAT GOD HAS CREATED BUT CAUTIOUS WITH THE EVS".This quote from my poem "Daughter of Eve" which i wrote after my first blow.

Darko said thou art creative but i will say THOU ART SHAKESPEAREAN for your style make such kingpins happy in their graves.Kudos bro!

NANA, THOU ART CREATIVE. I have read 'Virgin ...

2009-06-17T10:21:54.769Z

NANA, THOU ART CREATIVE.

I have read 'Virgin Liberty' several times since it was posted. The more I read, the more i appreciate the science behind it.

In my first reading, I was fraught - with difficulty - by its divergent / disintegrated formula: the first 3 stanzas that are easy to understand, and the last 2 stanzas which, frankly, I didn't know what to make of them - until my third day of reading.

When I finally got the meaning, I was nearly inclined to contrast it with a similar poem that was published on this site early this year. I had wanted to hammer home; how distinctive this poem is. Yet I was haunted by a farce I made of myself when I did so between Agyei Adjei-Baah and Mutombo, not so long ago.

Having avoided the sway of commentary, I must say that; when Nana's poem is understood, it brings revelation. On the contrary, it remains a mysterious murder scene to readers who mightn't have grasped the interior resolve displayed in the pragmatic fibre of the poem as a whole.

I have this in common with the author: both of us were inspired by John Donne. Yet the author, Nana Agyemang Ofosu, has this over me: he's got some traces of metapysical gland (quality) in his poetic gene.

PRAISE
This is not an ordinary poem. It is a kind of invention I would call 'Liberal Poetry' in honour of its innovator & his title.

when you start de get sense write peoms? but all ...

2009-06-16T22:54:21.914Z

when you start de get sense write peoms?

but all the same i think it is a good start